Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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