now i know why i became what i already was.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
