I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
