dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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