I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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