His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
