So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
