I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
third nipple confirmed
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
