i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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