Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
