apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
