do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
did i just pee glitter
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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