I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
