why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
