She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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