She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
