But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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