Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
