I hope mine doesn't look like that
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
