Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
