so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I touched a dick in church today
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize