If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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