Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
