youre lurking in front of me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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