When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
