You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
