Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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