Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
