Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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