I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
