she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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