If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
