Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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