Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
