Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
