We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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