you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
