dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
