i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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