Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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