if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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