Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
