Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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