I hope mine doesn't look like that
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
