do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize