his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
