Your face is a jimmy john
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
