Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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