I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
