Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
