CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
