I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize