You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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