He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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