yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I didn't notice because vodka
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Send help, water and tortillas.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
