If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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