i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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