Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
