Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
