I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
