So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
