I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
