omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can you repeat that, but with context?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
