do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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