just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
