yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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