I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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