If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
