I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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